"Yes..... I might
let myself consider giving up.
Wouldn't it be
great...... ?
But really deep down, I
still feel afraid. I'll miss them ....... I know it sounds
silly ......... but they have always been with me in the
good and the bad times ......
I think the truth is:
I'm afraid I won't be able to cope without them .........
but could I ?
Oh, I wonder, I wonder
.......that is the question ?
Up to this.... I have
NEVER even considered this as a possibility.
But maybe ..... maybe
.......
If I did choose NOT
to smoke what is the worst that could happen to me.....
?
OK, for a while I would
probably feel different ....... lonely and lost ....... as
if I had lost an old friend
But, hold on --
wouldn't I also get those terrible cravings to smoke - that
terrible nebulous feeling - I must have a cigarette
.........?
Ah, yes, I forgot about
that ............... Damn it!
Ah well, what's the
point ........ I don't want to go through all that again, do
I ?
But, wait, hold on -
what was that I read in DAY 6...... Surely that can't be
true ?
Yes...... it accepts
that how I felt in the past when I tried to give up was true
and valid - but it claims that the pain and discomfort which
I definitely felt came NOT from the feelings themselves but
how I responded to them.
Yes, now I remember:
When I give up I
should welcome whatever feelings I get - not fear them or
hope they won't come up or try to escape from
them...........
The pain comes if you fall for the old LIE that they are
too overpowering and you won't be able to handle them, so
you try to get rid of them or change them in some way.
I must admit this
sounds true to me ..........
All I have to do is to
ALLOW them ......... NOT get involved in them ..... NOT get
frightened or anxious over them ......... to simply put them
in context ........... they are only temporary ............
and when stripped of the power and fear which I have
unconsciously projected on to them, they are really
insignificant.
Yes, yes, of course
that is it .....
And
it has been these feelings - or rather my FEAR of
these feelings and, my belief that I would not be able to
cope with or tolerate them if I gave up smoking that
made me not EVEN want to consider the possibility of giving
up.
But now, maybe ..
.maybe ........ it can be done and easily ......
I must admit I'm
beginning to feel a bubble of delight and excitement and
smell the incense of success .......... and the choice of
real freedom.'
