"Yes..... I might let myself
consider giving up.
Wouldn't it be great...... ?
But really deep down, I still feel afraid. I'll miss them
....... I know it sounds silly ......... but they have
always been with me in the good and the bad times ......
I
think the truth is: I'm afraid I won't be able to cope
without them ......... but could I ?
Oh, I wonder, I wonder .......that is the question ?
Up to this.... I have NEVER even
considered this as a possibility.
But maybe .....
maybe .......
If I did choose NOT to smoke what is the worst
that could happen to me..... ?
OK, for a while I would probably feel
different ....... lonely and lost ....... as
if I had lost an old friend
But, hold on -- wouldn't I also get
those terrible cravings to smoke - that terrible nebulous feeling - I must have a cigarette .........?
Ah, yes, I forgot about that
............... Damn it!
Ah well, what's the point
........ I don't want to go through all that again, do I
?
But, wait, hold on - what was
that I read in DAY 6...... Surely that can't be true ?
Yes...... it
accepts that how I felt in the past when I tried to give up
was true and valid - but it claims that the pain and
discomfort which I definitely felt came NOT from the
feelings themselves but how I responded to them.
Yes, now I remember:
When I
give up I should welcome whatever feelings I get - not fear
them or hope they won't come up or try to escape
from them...........
The pain comes if you fall for the old
LIE that they are too overpowering and you won't be able to
handle them, so you try to get rid of them or change them in
some way.
I must admit this sounds true
to me ..........
All I have to do is to ALLOW them .........
NOT get involved in them ..... NOT get frightened or anxious
over them ......... to simply put them in context
........... they are only temporary ............ and when
stripped of the power and fear which I have unconsciously projected on to
them, they are really insignificant.
Yes, yes, of course that is it
.....
And it has been these feelings - or rather my FEAR of
these feelings and, my belief that I would not be able to
cope with or tolerate them if I gave up smoking that made me not EVEN
want to consider the possibility of giving up.
But now, maybe .. .maybe
........ it can be done and easily ......
I must admit I'm
beginning to feel a bubble of delight and excitement and
smell the incense of success .......... and the choice of
real freedom.'
