Please remember a very simple psychological law:
What you resists, persists.
If you have a feeling you don't like: i.e. the feeling you get when you can't smoke…….
…Please don't try to fight IT or even wish it would go away.
Don't judge it as 'good' or 'bad' even if it does, at this moment feel hard and uncomfortable.
Why not try a new way ?
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KEY IDEA |
Instead of resisting any feeling, the BEST way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it, and see through your resistance.
Simply sit back….. from the craving and just allow the feeling to be WHATEVER it feels like.
Depersonalize it.
Realize the feeling/sensation is not you.
These feelings/cravings come and go.
They are not us.
So step back from the feeling/the craving and the thoughts that accompany it and realize it's impersonal nature.
This is an important step.
It reduces the 'hold' the feeling has over us and gives you more control.
The craving is not us.
Now put the craving in context.
You do this by remembering every feeling and thought has movement to it and is only temporary.
Even the most acute craving will only last a few minutes….and then it will be gone.
Now for the 'hardest' step of all: don't do anything to the craving.
Resist all temptation to believe you have to 'do' anything to the feeling.
To judge it.
To get worried or upset by it.
Let go of the idea that there is something wrong with this feeling/sensation in your body.
Stop trying to get rid of it. Accept it's temporary presence.
Don't make a big deal of it.
LET IT be bad, horrible, terrible………ANYWAY it wants.
Let it SHOUT and scream and go into fits like a little baby.
Simply stay in the moment and allow it to play itself out in WHATEVER way it wants.
Where in the body is the craving the strongest? Watch and observe what it does.
Do not identify with it.
Do not give it any energy by trying to change it.
Simply stay in the moment and observe everything.
Do not react to any thoughts that will flow through your mind (and they will).
Treat these thoughts the same as the feelings.
Allow them.
Whether they are good or bad.
Do not judge them.
Just be still.
Just note them.
KNOW they are like the clouds in the sky.
They will soon pass on.
And what will happen as you maintain this attitude ?
The feelings and 'bad' sensations will change of their own accord.
You will realize that every feeling or craving has movement to it – and they come in waves.
Now, if you will just allow yourself to observe them and not judge them as 'bad' or 'undesirable' – and just feel the feeling – without resistance – you will begin to realize the energy is still there but…..NOW….. it does not now feel so bad .
As you continue to stay in the moment and observe the feeling without any judgment at all — you will experience the feeling – or any feeling – as it REALLY is – PURE ENERGY.
It will FEEL the same as joy and peace. You will FEEL light and expansive
I know that, at this stage you will find this hard to accept until you have actually experienced it for yourself.
So let me repeat: When you get the craving – the desire to smoke – WELCOME IT.
Don't make it wrong. Don't wish you weren't having this craving.
Ask yourself: Who said this temporary craving is bad to experience? it is GREAT. You can learn a lot from it.
Simply stay in the moment – put the craving in context – by remembering the craving is not you and that it is only temporary and….. and then simply observe it. Watch it.
In fact, go FURTHER: Mock the craving. 'Is this it? Is this the best you can do? Surely you can make me feel much worse than this. Come on. This is kid's play'.
When you can take this 'embracing' attitude ………soon, out of it's own accord, the craving will slow down and lose it's 'hardness'…… its 'tightness'……. the feeling of 'constriction' and 'congestion' that previously enveloped it.
And you will begin to experience the craving as it really is – a pure energy -a feeling of openingness and joy.
Please put away all your doubts and all your old habits.
At this moment, you do not believe this method simply because you have not tried it – yet !
It is the key to the whole process of enjoying giving up smoking.
As I have said before the ONLY reason you are afraid to give up smoking – or make excuses to postpone the day when you will stop IS the FEAR OF HOW YOU WILL FEEL WHEN YOU STOP AND REALIZE YOU CAN'T SMOKE.
You are terrified you will not be able to cope.
You decide you must stop – but then, almost immediately a snap picture of you enjoying your lunch break or looking forward going to the pub pops into your head – and then a terrible panic sets in:
"O, it will be terrible, intolerable. How will I cope ? I won't be able to smoke."
You honestly believe you will feel terrible. BUT NOW WE ARE TELLING YOU THAT THIS NEED NOT BE THE CASE.
If you will FACE these feelings that you are so terrified of — and for the first time in your life – stay in the moment and actually FEEL these feelings AS THEY REALLY ARE without judging them or wanting to do anything to them, you will make a simple but astounding discovery.
The feeling you get when you can't smoke is not 'bad'. It's really no big deal.
"Oh – if we could only convince you of that !
The feeling you get when you can't smoke is not big deal.
It is not painful or life-threatening, if you don't MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT..
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KEY IDEA |
The feeling you get when you can't smoke is not bad. It is not painful or life-threatening – in fact it can be warm and pleasant if you will open to it and embrace it.
If you would only allow yourself to face this feeling as it really is and NOT the mind's PROJECTIONS or EXAGGERATIONS of HOW it will be, you will realize that this feeling is nothing at all – no big deal .
It is so insignificant that you can easily deal with it – whenever it may arise – and in fact, that is all you have to do.